Imagine that you're a villain in a John Hughes film. What do you do? A good bet might be to find someplace safe and secure to hide, especially if you catch sight of any kids under the age of twelve.
Like someone unwilling to venture down an untrodden road, Hughes has yet again come back to the worn-out Home Alone concept, this time substituting a nine-month old toddler for wisecracking Macaulay Culkin. In this cased, however, the baby's smiles and chuckles are more endearing than Culkin's one-liners.
There are three villains instead of two. And while their names aren't Larry, Curly, and Moe, the similarities are neither superficial nor incidental. These Three Stooges (played by Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, and Brian Haley) are out to make $5 million by kidnapping Baby Bink (Adam and Jacob Worton), the son of the ultra-rich, ultra-chic Benningtons (Lara Flynn Boyle and Matthew Glave). What they didn't count on was their own incompetence and, once the baby slips through their fingers, they're always a crawl behind him.
For someone over the age of ten (or thereabouts), Baby's Day Out has enough slapstick to be amusing - at least for a while. There isn't a scintilla of intellectual humor in the whole movie, and the repeated bashings and burnings received by the hapless villains get tiring after the first hour. There also seem to be an inordinate number of jokes dealing with the crushing, mutilation, or incineration of male reproductive organs.
Young children will also laugh at this film, but there's a question about whether the content is suitable. With Home Alone, most of the damage done to the thugs was relatively minor, at least compared to what happens in Baby's Day Out. This time around, the cartoon mentality is taken to its Wiley Coyote absolute, with the Stooges constantly surviving crippling or should-be-fatal accidents. Somehow, it's more disturbing than funny when it happens to reel people, as opposed to animated creatures.
Other than the slapstick, there's little to recommend this movie. A subplot involving how a status-obsessed mother comes to grips with her missing child is horribly misplaced, and these strains of melodrama are cloying. Whenever Lara Flynn Boyle appears on screen, it's the fervent wish of nearly every member of the audience that the movie turn its attention back to the baby.
Like Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern before them, the trio in Baby's Day Out make amusingly inept crooks. Baby Bink is cute, but that's what little kids are supposed to be, and most of the impressive baby stunts result from ILM's work, not the incredible athletic ability of the Worton boys.
Maybe the worst thing to happen to John Hughes was the success of Home Alone. Since then, with the exception of Only the Lonely (which was already in production by the time Kevin's family left without him), the filmmaker hasn't released a movie with even a spark of originality. Before Culkin, Hughes occasionally came up with something entertaining. Now, he has become redundant and tiresome.
Doubtless, if Baby's Day Out makes money, there will be more of this fare to come. And, with the protagonists getting younger with each new picture, one wonders if the next release of this sort might end up being called Adventures in the Womb.
